Tis the Season!

*Merry Christmas*

I pray that this season find you with full hearts in anticipation of the gospel. The Word becoming flesh. Today, I get to drive home and spend the day there. I am finished with finals! (Except for a small project due on Monday) We have received quite the dumping of snow up here, which leads to quite the interesting time dealing with plowing roads, and cold!

I sit and reflect, now that there's time, and i see how blessed I am, Christmas i just around the corner, I can barely believe it. I have been blessed with amazing opportunities this semester. It has been a bittersweet semester. It might sound weird, but I semi-loathe this upcoming thing called graduation. I am learning that I am a person who likes things to remain the way they've always been. Yet, life rarely remains the same.

This semester brings with it the occasion to say goodbye to some good friends and even more opportunities to trust Jesus. I think back to who I was at the beginning of the semester and who I am now. I had just said goodbye to 110 of some of the greatest people that God had blessed my life with. Somedays, I don't even know what to do without them, yet I see a God who is faithful! If only I could learn to trust Him with the same measure. Now, here I am, looking towards a month off a school, and am really looking forward to time for processing, even things from this summer.

Here is the chorus to a Christmas song that was written by the band Downhere, it always causes me to stop and think, and reflect. Hope it makes you do the same (the crown just seemed to fit with the title):

How many kings, stepped down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
How many Gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that has torn all apart?
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?
Only one did that for me

Turkeys, Cranberry Sauce, Joy!

Thanksgiving!

I truly do have a lot to be thankful for, truly, yet, I know that somedays all I can think of is all the woes and worries I have.

This morning I took some time to make a list of all the things that I am thankful for. It was a really sweet time where Jesus really got to show me a lot about what he's done for me.

The following Psalm just kind of hit me hard....

Things I am thankful for:

1) Women

what amazing women I have the privilege of sharing life with, whether from this summer or here at Mankato, women who love me well, know me deeply and have modeled what i looks like to pursue Jesus together as we take our brokenness before the cross and point each other to our healer!

2) Ministry

God is at work here at Mankato, i have to constantly remind myself of that. See, because I may not see that much happening, doesn't mean that he isn't at work. He doesn't need me, he chooses whether or not to use me. Yet, there are some great things that I have seen him do. I know that I have a tendency to want to see what I think are huge things happen. Yet, I must remember that every time someone chooses Christ, that is a miracle, anytime that people turn from their life to his, it's huge! What a privilege to be a part of that and to see Him peak people's interest in who he is.

3) School

As much as I forget it, it is a blessing that I am able to be here at school! I have seen God's grace poured out as I see unmerited favor poured on me by my professors and other students here. I really am loving school here again, and am determined to make the best I can of this semester and the two to come.

4) Life

I am alive, that is by the grace of God! Yet, my quality of life, the amount of joy and gratefulness I have been feeling is amazing! I feel as the psalm describes redeemed. This semester has been an interesting season in my life, one of trial and testing, one where I feel as though I did walk through the valley of the shadow, and standing on the other side I can only say, WoW!

Please read this Psalm in it's entirety, it will rock your world!

"Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble and gathered in from the lands, from the east and from the west, from the north and from the south. Some wandered in desert wastes, finding no way to a city to dwell in; hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted within them. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way till they reached a city to dwell in. Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things."

(Psalm 107)

Fallin' :)

Fall is long upon us here. It seems to have been one of the most rainy ones I have seen in a while.

I realize that my BLOG has fallen into neglect. Yeah, I have this thing called school going on. I don't know if anyone reads this, but I am not convinced that the point of a BLOG is for everyone on earth to read it, sometimes I just feel better knowing that I can write it. Maybe someone will read it? :)

This fall has been crazy, that is really the only word to describe it. It felt like cultural shock to come back from project at first. The university scene is a little bit of a far cry in some ways from what I experience this summer. Mostly in regards to the community, and the amount of free time. I thought I was always busy this summer, but I wasn't, now I really am! :)

It feels crazy to have the first semester coming to an end. I have been wearing "teacher" garb for the past two weeks nearly everyday. I am doing clinicals in both Waseca and Mankato (at West High School), it makes me appreciate wearing jeans a lot more.

What is God up to in my life? Good question. He's working, we are doing a great Bible Study with the women's leadership fro CRU and it is great. One week we talk about how the church needs to be storming the gates of hell. Yet, so often we sit in our "fortresses", like our churches or Christian community, neither one of these things is bad, however, they can become something that can distract us from our commission. I would say this: a great community pushes you to go out and talk to people about what you believe.

I have gone out in the past few weeks more. I have missed talking to people on a spiritual level, having conversations with men and women about what it is that they believe, what it is that they are putting their trust in. I am continually asking that question back to myself? What am I trusting in?

Do I trust myself, or am I walking in the power of the Holy Spirit. I find that often I am so prideful and think that I have abilities, that I can do things without Jesus...school this year has been hard. My major (the German part), and the classes I have to take for it, can definitely lead to some interesting conversations. This semester I have German Cinema & Literature (two different classes). It's a continuous struggle to see where I can stick up for Jesus, and where it may be hindering my walk with Jesus if I skip class. I have never skipped class more for reasons of class content. The king of the air is at work.

How glad I am that I have a God who is greater. As I was driving home from Waseca I was listening to the radio.

"At 20 years of age, I'm still looking for a dream, a war's already waged for my destiny, but you've already won the battle, and you've got great plans for me, though I can't always see."

This song really isn't really one of my favorites, but these words hit me especially hard, because so often I do worry about my future. What will my life after college look like? It has hit me really hard this semester, because I have exactly one year left after this semester is over, and a lot of my close friends will be student teaching or graduating after this semester. It was just a reminder that MY VICTORIOUS KING knows, and it's a great plan. WHOA!

Tis Past Due

So, I am failing at keeping up this BLOG, even the last weeks of project slipped away before I was able to share them with you. I loved every single moment that I spent this summer in Ocean City New Jersey. I have enough memories to last me a lifetime, I have over 110 new friends and have been challenged in my faith more than ever! I left project and arrived at home to experience pretty much the hardest week of my life, so far.

Going from an amazing community of 110 people on fire and passionate about Jesus and sharing his good news with everyone to being at home with my parents, was culture shock. I love my parents and am so blessed that they are a part of my life, but I didn't know how to deal without the consistency of people around and just having women in my life. Not to mention that it was so hard to say goodbye!

I have learned so much this summer, and as I was talking with one of my good friends tonight, she reminded me that I need to trust that God is working just as much in my life today as he was when I was on project. Just because I'm no longer in Ocean City, doesn't mean he's no longer at work.

Some things the Lord has taught (and I think will be teaching me for the rest of my life) this summer:

1) I have grown in what it means to be a woman. One who makes mistakes and messes up, but one who refuses to buy into this culture's counterfeit idea of womanhood and chooses instead to find her identity in Jesus and who He says she is and that only in Him and I 100% complete.

2) I have been set free from performance Christianity, I now for the first time understand that God loves me, not because of what I have done, good or bad, but that he chose me. I no longer have to do things to try and earn God's love. He loves and likes me, just the way I am.

3) Sharing what I believe. I have been and can be really afraid to tell people that I love Jesus. Yet, as I continue to walk with Him and see how much he loves me, how much he cares for me, how he sent his son Jesus to die for me, I am becoming more and more convinced that if I love people, they need to know. I am moving from living in fear to walking by faith.

I was also struggling (and still am working through) what my semester this Fall will look like for ministry. I had a lot of doubts and fears and the Lord is leading me out of my comfort zone, and suprisingly enough, I don't really want to go that badly. But I am learning what it means to trust in Him moment by moment and to follow even when the road is not that clear. Some days it is clearer than others.

I have accomplished my first week of classes and enjoyed seeing old friends and getting back into classes, my brain has this love of knowledge and learning, which I think is super cool! This semester's homework load looks pretty intense with reading and I am going to be full up even just in taking German Literature.

I am working through how to be a light for Jesus in my classes, in my spare time and even in my homework. The cool thing is, that this can all be for him! He's doing some cool things here..one day I got to talk to three women who are interested in a Bible Study, and I am excited to get into people's lives.

I need to constantly remind myself that this life isn't going to be easy, and the things I'm going to be asked to do, may not always be exactly what I've planned for myself. But I must believe and trust...that His ways are not my ways...and that he has ONLY good planned for me and that he is withholding no good from me! Praise Him!

By His Grace,

Kimberly

running........or are we?

"It will be worth it all when we see Jesus, it will be worth it all when we see Christ, one glimpse of his dear face, all sorrow will erase, so bravely run the race until we see Christ."

So often, I find that we approach our Christian race like a leisurely walk in the park. We twiddle our thumbs as we walk and go through our preteens, teens and twenties. What does it mean that that our faith is likened to a race. I have never been a running fan, all my friends can attest to that. I'm not a big fan of Nascar or any other type of car racing. The only type of race I'd even really be inclined to spend my time watching is either horse racing, or the olympics. For the sake of illustration I'll use horse racing. Horse racing is truly a team sport. There are two members to each team, the horse and the jockey.

Each horse on the track runs with reckless abandonment. They push forward, they run with all their might. They don't even feel the weight of the jockey , they might feel the encouragement of the whip prodding them towards the finish line. They may feel the iron of the bit in their mouth, as the jockey holds the reins gently guiding them.

I think of the horse and jockey as a great picture of the Christian faith. As we move forwards in our race, the bit and the reins and the jockey behind them are all used to move us along and guide us. The only problem is that the reins and the bit do absolutely nothing if the horse is not in motion. The bit and the reins won't start a horse in motion. In it we enter, the spur. Spurs are not worn in races. The horses used in a race are already motivated to run at the sound of the gun, every muscle in their body is tense and waiting for in anticipation for that sound.

What if that was us, what if we waited for the sound of the LORD's voice and went forward, that every spiritual muscle of ours was flexed and we set off full speed ahead in being spent for HIS souls. I have been pondering a lot what it means to RUN not just stand there waiting.

I think of the faith that I lack, it doesn't take any faith to stand still, it takes faith to start running and trust that our God will guide and lead and we need to trust that the bit and the reins will work, that...those who lean not on their own understanding, will have straight paths.

take those old glasses off your soul and start to see as he sees

"give me your eyes for just one second, give me your eyes so I can see, everything that I keep missing, give me your love for humanity, give me your arms for the broken hearted, the ones that are far beyond my reach, give me your heart for the ones forgotten, give me your eyes so I can see." -Brandon Heath

2 Corinthians 5: 12 "those who boast about outward appearance and not about what is in the heart."

2 Corinthians 5:16 "From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh."

"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations — these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.” CS Lewis

What if we could see the world, our enemies, or even ourselves as Jesus does? What if we forgot the put on all the labels that the world gives us and are stripped down to our souls...what would we find? What would our heart look like? Do we even know what we would be without other people defining us?

I think we're scared of what we'd find, I know that I have been, yet, God says, while gently ravaging me, that you need to look. I want you to see 20/20 spiritually, take off those glasses and look around you, take inventory of your heart, do you really see people as I do? I have been going through convictions, seeing that there are most definitely people groups that I look upon with disdain, I continually forget that I have been rescued from death, and transferred into the kingdom of light and life.

I have looked into the depth of my heart and what I have found there is not beautiful, like I've pretended, I've seen the blackness of tumors of sin that I forgot to fight and have been long neglected and have started to spread their cancer. It hurts to cut them out, it hurts to start treatment.

There are an amazing 12 days that I get to live with my 110 new friends from this summer. There are still things that I want to pursue, I want to run across the finish line at the end saying that I have NO REGRETS from this project.

I have had an amazing summer. Women have authentically loved me, they have poured into my life and I've gotten the opportunity to have that same experience and given the same grace that they have extended to me to other women. It is true that we are stronger together than alone. This week is a send week and we'll focusing on being sent. I am being challenged in the areas where I am a Jonah.

I apologize that my thoughts are kind of just thrown out there and scattered, but this is a real post, not just a summarization of what I've done, my heart is pouring out, so it gets a little more confusing, I love you all....

God Can't Fix What's Not Broken

" A THEATRICAL PRESENTATION, 12th STREET BEACH, 'THE EPIC BATTLE'."

"I speak the truth in Christ, I am not lying, my conscience confirms it in the Holy Spirit, I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, those of my own race, the people of Israel." Romans 9:1-3

This week, I have felt an anguish within my soul as never before, I have never ever felt so broken. This week is a week that I will forever remember and will be remembered in my soul as one where Jesus worked and has forever changed my look on the lost.

Our outreach for the week was this epic battle. a representation of the spiritual battle that takes place in our world everyday. As we prepared to watch the forces of "good" and "evil" converge on the beach, I felt a quickening in my soul. I looked at this battle and saw the reality that this is really happening!

After the battle we engaged in many spiritual conversations, but during the week, we talked to so many people and were challenged to keep track of their name and their spiritual status. After the outreach, we looked the list of people (it was a twenty minute powerpo

int) it broke me. I cried for those who didn't know Jesus and rejoiced for those who did.

This upcoming week is called "God can't fix what's not broken." I feel like I'm a week ahead of the game. It will be interesting to see what God does in my life this week. I seriously spent the majority of my week in tears and working out my salvation with fear and trembling before the LORD, so broken before him, maybe for the very first time in my life, just seeing how extremely broken I am.....as Dickens would say, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

I believe that God is good, and the best is yet to come!

I put together a few pictures of the time here for a slideshow.

Agape/For the Sake of His Glory!

"So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Agape week was really one of the most touching weeks out here as we looked towards saying goodbye to our staff who we love and trusting the Lord to work through us. Monday I got up really early and rode my bike to watch the sunset all by myself, but having to go to work at six thirty, didn't leave me enough time to actually watch the entire thing. That night, Bob talked about the only mark of the Spirit-filled life being fruit. Then, I got to join a friend in celebration of her birthday at Hobby Horse. Let me just say that I think Mankato needs an ice cream parlor hardcore. I know we have Coldstone, but that is nothing like Hobby Horse...plus they have Winnie the Pooh there..so yeah don't mess. I worked through a lot of feelings of inadequacy this week, of not feeling adequate to disciple women, and as I worked through them, it was amazing to have God confirms those feelings and then tell me, But I AM. I AM able to disciple women, I AM able to love them when you don't know how, I know what they need and how to stretch them.

Then, I encountered one of the hardest days I've yet to experience on project. It started at work. There was one lady who pretty much made it her goal to make life miserable for everyone. She was just so rude, and I had to remember that Jesus loved this lady as I encountered her and tried to show her patience and grace. Yet, I never take it well when people yell at me. Then, as I was ending my shift I started to feel very ill. Slightly faint and had a large headache. It was a bummer, because we had planned a sleepover and an evening trip to Cape May for our last action group time with Sarah. I ended up sleeping in my room because I felt so sick. But we all woke up and went to watch the sunrise with our impact group boys.

Thursday was our last day with the staff. It was a good day, our goodbye night started at supper, where we had an agape feast and started to serve each other. Then, Bob gave his final talk imparting upon us some last words of wisdom. Exhorting us to run full speed ahead, in community, then we went back into the gym and people had an opportunity to share what God had been doing in their hearts. About 15 minutes in, Bob and Kim come out with buckets of water and towels and went to our student leaders and washed their feet. Then, it trickled down as my action group leader washed my and the other girls in my study's feet. Then, I wanting to have my lead foot with the women I would be leading be love and service washed the women that I would be leading's feet. Then, we went back into the sanctuary and prayed for our new leaders and the staff gathered in the back, and left.

It is amazing the impact these men and women had upon our life in a short six weeks. How different we all our and the new appreciation we have for them, as we take on their roles. Our schedule has just become more busy. I just finished my first discipleship appointment and it went alright. I have been finding peace and my role and trusting that God is adequate to disciple people even when I'm not. I will spend about eight hours a week in discipleship, 2 hours being discipled myself and 2 hours with each of the three women that I have been entrusted to love. My host family here is amazing. I have been invited to spend as much time as I want over at their house. Yesterday I spent quite a bit of time just chilling and reading and even took a dip in their pool.

Prayer Requests:

-That I would take the time I need to with Jesus as I need to have a right relationship before I can even think about pouring into other women.

-That I would have a changed heart and lead my women in transparency and love.

-I would not be overwhelmed by my busy schedule.

- I would continue to build relationships with people here on project.

-I would move towards my coworkers and be intentional about sharing the gospel with them.

Praises:

-Amazing friends that I get to laugh and cry with.

-The way Jesus is using this in my life.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/oceancitysp/?saved=1

World Vision Week

He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never call retreat; He is sifting out the hearts of men before the judgement seat: Oh, be swift my soul to answer him, be jubilant my feet, my God is marching on!

The preceding is a verse from

the Battle Hymn of the Republic, we sang it in church on Sunday, and as the words were sung, I thought about the truth of the statement, "never sound retreat", God's army will never sound retreat, it will always continue.

Then, I think that the response of, be swift my soul to answer and jubilant my feet, really resonated with me and what I've been thinking about this week. We've been challenged with thinking about God's heart for the world. We've been challenged with what it would look like if we lived life with the vision of "Go, unless called to stay." It was a really challenging week, and one that may affect me for the rest of my life. We got to celebrate the fourth of July by watching fireworks set off over the ocean. After fireworks I found out what my role here is going to be once our staff leave. I am going to be an action group leader. I will be discipling three women and leading a Bible Study, as well as be discipled myself and be in another Bible Study. I know that this is exactly what I need, but I am overwhelmed with the prospect of the time that all of that will take, especially while working about twenty hours a week.

Yesterday was a guy in our Impact group's birthday and we made him pancakes, then we had a creative date, we invited our men to the swing at 5pm for dinner, when they arrived there, we weren't there but there was a note. We sent them on a scavenger hunt and we met them at a park and it was just a really fun time. We took so many pictures and we watched the sun set over on the bay side of the island. I am so glad that I know those people and that they are my friends.

Please be in prayer for me as I do this. I know that I am going to need God's strength so much in this. I am excited but am sad to see the staff leave at the end of the week.

PS "Roses are red, violets are blue, you are awesome and I agape you."

Killing the Giants/All For One

SO MUCH has occured since the last time I had time to write on this thing called a blog.

I feel like I cannot even recap what the Lord has been doing/what has occured. Killing the giants week went well. Over 5800 people were engaged in spiritual conversations and 261 indicated decisions for Christ. I personally got to see six people come to Christ. That was crazy!!! I also reached my goal of sharing with 50 people. We battled rain deluges and all kinds of other odds but we killed that giant. It was personally fun to go sharing with all kinds of different people.

During "Killing the Giants" week, we had very little time to get to know each other. So, the next week was entitled "All For One", we only had two hours of internet between the hours of five and seven, so that is why this has been semi-neglected.

We as women got honored and challenged as we listened to staff women cheer us on and encourage and challenge us at our women's conference. We enjoyed delicious food and great company as we all dressed to the nines and sat down and heard "What I Wished I Would Have Known", "What Has Kept Me in the Race", and "What I Am Learning", complete with a chocolate fountain.

One really cool thing that we did was a group date night with Jesus, where we chose a number between 1 and 23 to correspond with the number of books in the New Testament. Then, we chose between the chapters in that book. From there, we read through the passage and talked it over, came up with questions about it. It was a super sweet time to get together with four other women and talk about the passage and just be real and open and curious together.

After that night, we had mens and women's staff panels where we could ask any relationship type question or really anything we wanted to of them. It was great to hear and gain insight and wisdom from those who had gone before us.

Last Friday, the men from our impact group made us supper after inviting us to dinner through a rewrite of Taylor Swift's Romeo and Juliet. They were awesome. They had the table all set and served us quesadillas and made cake and ice cream, then we played dime skeeball. It was just a really fun night.

The week was great as we spent it well in community with each other. At the end of the week, we played a softball game Students v. Staff. We named our team HAM, which is an obsession of this project in this case ham stood for holy and mighty. We enjoyed a great number of cheers and playing together as one against our staff.

Killing the Giants.....

Hey, sorry for my absence here, it has already been a very busy week. In fact it has been a full weeks since I last posted.

Wed: I started my training for Superfresh. I had to do all this computer training/simulation stuff, and it was intense, and gave me a headache after it was over, but then I got to have Bible Study again with Sarah and we combined with another group.

Thurs: I continued my training at Superfresh, I got off of the computer ½ way through my shift and that was super overwhelming at first, because I had absolutely no idea how I was going to do all that was required of me. However, my trainer was this extremely sweet woman named Jeanette. She gave me a hug the first day that I worked there and just loved on me and encouraged me that I would be good at my job. Then, that night we had another Holy Spirit talk by the one and only Mr. Bob Fuhs. After the worship, I just felt so filled and called to just be silent for awhile, so I went and sat on the church steps for a few moments before people started filing out. I find often the Lord just asking me to be still and just wait.

Fri: I worked a four hour shift at Superfresh and was still overwhelmed with all that I had to do, but it started to seem that I would be more able to handle anything that came through. More of our project family arrived with the quarter students and it started to feel like we were more complete.

Sat: we had impact group suppers as well as a scavenger hunt called “A Taste of Ocean City” Where we had to eat a large sampling from many foods on the boardwalk. Such as frozen bananas, funnel cake, taffy, fries, polish water ice, we even ate sand and saltwater. We also had activities to do, like sing to someone on the boardwalk, play leapfrog from the boardwalk to the beach. We took a picture of a seagull eating a piece of food. Then, we did our normal outreach and went sharing on the boardwalk. At our debrief we learned what the next week, “Killing the Giants” would be all about. We were all asked to pray and set faith goals for the number of people we wanted to have spiritual conversations with, and challenged to think of an evangelism giant in our life and just do it, get over it. Each person on project wrote down the number of people they wanted to trust God by faith to talk to. Our whole project goal was 4596 people. I was up until 1:30 am working on caramel rolls for the next morning.

Sun: I was up at 7:15 to bake the rolls made the night before. We had Sunday school and church, then an outreach in the afternoon, where we even invited people to a tug-of-war competition and then, once the competition was over, we all went out into the crowd and talked to the spectators and participants about Jesus.

Mon: I pulled a six our shift, which was pretty intense, but it was also good I talked a little to one of my co-workers and invited her to our meeting and she came :) I was working and greeted this one woman, “Hello, Ma’am, how are you today?” Her response just floored me, she was like “Are you here with Crusade?” “You guys are always so nice.” What an amazing thing to have such a GREAT reputation, but also somewhat intimidating to live up to. But that was a cool thing for sure.

Prayer Requests:

-That I would be sustained by the Lord this week as we pour out all we are into sharing and asking people about Jesus.

-That the hearts of the people on the boardwalk would be open and ready to hear the good news of the gospel.

-That I would not get weary of sharing my faith, but would continue to trust the Lord in all aspects of it.

-That I would be able to face my fears well and see them as giants that I must get over, not as impossibilities.

-That by faith, I would talk to my faith goal (50 people)

Praises:

-After 2 days our project is ½ way through our faith goal.

-The openness people have to sharing and talking to us.

-The friendships that are building here.

I was reminded last night that God doesn’t see lost people as a project or as anything, but lost and his compassion drives him to send laborers into his harvest. We looked at Matthew 9:35-38

“And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples. “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few, therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

.....what will I regret?

So last night I enjoyed my three hour date night with Jesus. At first the thought of an extended Jesus time was just daunting. What would I even do for that long.

Last night I sat on the beach and just watched the waves for awhile. I have been struggling with what it looks like to be crucified with Christ and what it means that my  life is no longer my own.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself up for me." Galatians 2:20

I had been struggling with selfishness and not really wanting to give up my "rights". Yet as I sat on the shore a thought came to my mind. "I should take more pictures." I will never regret taking too many pictures, but I will usually regret not taking enough. Then, I realized that the same was true of my walk with God. I will not get to heaven and say that I did too much for God, but my thought and regret may just be that I didn't do enough. So, that was just a moment where I started to put out lies in my life.

...of whom the world was not worthy...

"Some were torture, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated—of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth." Hebrews 11:35-38

I came across this passage of scripture recently and was really challenged by it. I am at times so afraid of sharing my faith for the fear of what people will think about me, but I really suffer no fear of being killed, or being sawn in half. the worst censure I could experience is someone telling me to leave them alone or someone's disdain. Another point that hits me is about how these people are described as "of whom the world was not worthy." So often I try to live my life, my Christian life as one that seeks the approval of people first.

Sharing on the boardwalk has been both hard and easy. When I went out sharing with my discipler, I ended getting very disappointed with how few people were on the boardwalk and just the difficulties I was having, but I was able to just be really honest with her about I felt like I just didn't care. I started to pray that the Lord would break my heart, and the last time I went sharing, I found the heartbreaking prayer to be answered. I think that I expected it to be too easy, yet as I had to keep hitting the pavement hearing "no" and "we already did it". A girl Ashley and I did get into two good conversations. Heartbreaking conversations. 

On Friday I went to Atlantic City to celebrate a girls birthday and just got into a great conversation with a girl on the way back. Just about my life and some past hurts. It was really great to just talk to her about them. I am so loved here, authentically. I hope that my wounds from the past are healed in the prescence of Jesus. 

I absolutely loved church once again today! :) I also took part in a theological conversation about covenants lead by one of the staff here, it was seriously great and so thought provoking and intellectually challenging, then I helped make some homemade pizzas, which were delicious!

You are not your own.....

Well, I'm officially employed at Superfresh. So, yeah that's a super-exciting fact. I went back to accept my job that I was offered. I was interviewed at Air Circus, but wasn't called back, so I decided that after taking a drug test for Superfresh, I couldn't turn down a sure thing for prospects.

Then, I hung out on the beach for the entire rest of the day and went swimming and ended up getting pretty sunburned. but, it was fun trying to boogie board.

Then, I had date night with Jesus, where we spend three hours in quiet study. This week is "Setting the Pace" week we talked about what our hearts were running after. "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. I have really been challenged in looking at what it means to live my life as it's not my own and to not give any excuses to God about why i can't follow him right now, etc.  The Lord is working on my heart to not just honor him with only my mouth but with every decision and choice that I'm making, and to feel passionately about Christ and his will. I have been so complacent, i can see that now, I just desire to grow....

Last night we were hanging out on the porch and this couple came onto the porch with a very distinct accent asking if this was a hotel. I immediately noted that it was slightly German, so I got up and asked them where they were from. Who knew that the Lord would speak to my German heart by sending to me a German couple, that I got to speak to in German. :)

"How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, "Your God reigns." Isaiah 52:7  

Well, this Minnesotan young adult, namely, me, has finally been on the beach. Saturday we had our first day of outreach. and it was a great time. Honestly, one of the most fulfilling sharing times I think I've ever had. I got to go out with the lovely Mrs. Lauren Pottenger from UCLA and it was really cool to share ideas with explanations and to learn from each other. We ended up spending our entire 1.5 hours talking to two sisters. Their mom came up to us during our survey and was really curious about what we were doing, but then seemed to melt and be excited that we were talking to her daughters about Jesus... she even went as far to give us hugs and kisses.... :) We went through the survey and then the Knowing God Personally booklet, the women were tracking wonderfully, but seemed to continue to answer our questions about salvation with answers about the things we must do, and the works, and a process. 

We got through the entirety, even read the prayer, and we went back to Ephesians 2:8-9 "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. When I asked them what grace meant, they gave an answer of "God's love" and I explained to them how it's God's unmerited favor, getting what we don't deserve. Like if you were to speeding and pulled over by a cop. You deserve that ticket. Then the car behind you stops and says, give me your ticket I would love to pay it for you. I always love that reminder of what it is that God through Jesus has done for us.

That night, we had mens/women's time and it was so beautiful to look into all of those women's faces and share our hearts and how the Lord is at work among us.

Sunday was church and I just loved it! Seriously! I know that I annoyed the people next to me because I was so excited by EVERYTHING! The hymns and songs that we were singing. The message was from Haggai and it was cutting, but a really good message to hear. How the children of Israel had forgotten why they had gone back to Jerusalem, and how often do we forget what we're here for. How often do we make excuses for why we aren't following Christ or living passionately for our savior.

Today was the job hunt day, and I'm actually kind of overwhelmed by the prospects I have. I got offered a job at Superfresh, have another prospect at the Promenade food court, and I had an interview at Air Circus, so I'll be taking some time to pray about what the LORD has for me as far as a job goes, and which one I should do or if I should wait for one?

Prayer Requests:

woman time: that I would have good quality one on one time with women here

job: clarity and discernment in choosing

that the Lord would work on my heart and I would fall more and more in Love with Jesus

Praises!

The friends that I've made here.

How the Lord is at work here in OC!

The prospects I have for jobs.

The sweet times with Jesus
  

Here in OC 1

Hey There,

I can't even begin to describe how amazing this thing called "summer project" is. I have only been here for four days, and yet I feel like I've been here for weeks. Relationships here were built pretty much upon walking into the house.

Tuesday: I woke up at 4:15 to head out to the airport with my family and spent quite a bunch of that day in the airport. MSP to Milwaukee, and then to Philly. I ended up sitting behind a girl that is also here on project. We were picked up in Philly and I was pretty much instant friends with the other people that I rode to the OC with!

Upon arriving in OC I was bombarded by so many names and faces and people. Everyone here is so friendly and really really outgoing and real. That has been fun. I share a room with one girl and we have our own bathroom, which is not normal, but we are in the same action groups (discipleship).

Wednesday: We had meetings and then lunch with our impact group where we shared our T&F testimony and flavor! Our impact groups are made up of three action groups. We sat through two seminars at the Ocean City Baptist Church, beautiful thing and awesome place. The Lord cut to me right away. We talked about how we have assured acceptance from Christ and yet!

Thursday:We spend the morning looking for jobs and hanging out on the boardwalk. We spend the afternoon working on the Ambassador and cleaning up and the place looks so much better and is starting to feel so much more like home. Last night, we had a sharing time and it was so great. The LORD has truly done a lot to bring all of us here and I don't think that there isn't a person who doesn't have a story about how God has worked in amazing ways to bring them here.

Friday: Today, we had some training meetings and I got a phone call during one of them, which was embarassing, but it was a potential employer calling me back. So, I need to get back to them, but decided that I would update you all first. Also, we got to meet the original pastor that thought of the idea of OC Summer Project. It was super cute, and really touching. We had game night and played all my favorite 'Kato games and I missed them SO much! But it was fun to play with new people!

Prayer Requests

1) Job, I believe that I have an interview Monday.

2) That the Lord would continue to build us here as an authentic comnmunity.

3) We would be open to the Lord's prompting.

4) Tomorrow is our first day of sharing, so pray that would all go well.

I really enjoy it here, so many fun people who love each other and are funny and I am really enjoying myself! :)

 

 

The Last Post before OC 09 begins

Well Ladies and Gentlemen, the final countdown has begun!

5 days stand between me and the Jersey shore.....

As the day quickly approaches when I shall embark upon this journey, I am filled with many sentiments. I have a full heart, one that is adventurous and looking forward to this day like no other, and yet, I find myself to be nervous with what all this summer will entail, as I think and look ahead, I see that there is still a LOT that I have no idea about for this summer.

Yet, I know that I am meant to go on project. There are just so many things that keep reaffirming me in this. Thanks to all of you for your prayers and best wishes. I know my God is in control and has an experience planned for me this summer that will draw me closer to him.

Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.²⁵For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. ²⁶For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? ²⁷ For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done.

As weird as it may sound, I cannot wait to learn more of what it means to die to myself and live for Christ!

My address for the summer follows:

Kimberly Nickel

c/o Campus Crusade for Christ

1301 Central Ave

Ocean City, NJ 08226

May, no WAY!

22

The number of days until Ocean City keeps dropping! Unlike these MN temperatures which keep rising. I spent two hours just basking in the sun, it was wonderful! Tomorrow starts finals week here at MSU, which leaves me with anticipation and some reflective sadness. I am in GREAT anticipation of this summer and what the LORD will do in and through my life, but I am also taking a peek at what this year has been. I, as is normal have a few regrets. I wish that I would have been able to be involved in more women's lives here on campus, especially on this floor! I know that I will deeply miss all my friends here and will anticipate seeing them all again! We've spent so much time together the last week, playing games so often. It is a cool summer as most of my close friends have dedicated their summer to the LORD and are going on project. Last week at CRU, the students who are going on project were prayed for, and there are 19 of us, that is a crazy number! 

I can't even wait to see how that will impact us as we head back to campus with the training and the growing we'll go through. 

Prayer Requests:

1) Finish Well: 3 Finals this week! :)

2) A heart that is open to the Lord's working and one that sees opportunities

3) A desire to spend time with the LORD (this has been a little difficult for me with a changing schedule)

4) That I will leave all of my friendships on a good foot and that we would enjoy our last moments together before the summer takes us all around the United States and the world.

Praises:

1) Another well-completed semester of college (only 3 more!)

2) Beautiful sunny days that warm my heart! :)

3) Seeing family very soon!

I'm appreciated

I have been neglecting updating this week.

The weather is so beautiful and with only two weeks left of class, I feel the need to live every moment to the fullest (that means spending a lot of time with my friends that I won't see for over 12 weeks!)

Last week the women of CRU were honored at Women's Appreciation Night, the men of CRU picked us up, served us supper (homemade pizza even!), and put on a variety show for us. It was a night full of fun!

This gorgeous day, we as women are going to reciprocate the appreciation, with Male Appreciation Night, I cannot write what we are going to do, because it is a secret. So, next week there may be some more information.

Yesterday it was 80 degrees, oh MN, you are so funny, and much enjoyed by me!

Alright, I am continually encouraged by everyone's outpouring of support for project this summer. The two women that are in the picture with me are also going to be going on projects this summer. All three of us to very different locations, New Jersey, North Dakota, and South Carolina, but I am excited to to come together in the Fall and see just what the Lord will do with the summers that we dedicate to him!

Hello all from a GORGEOUS day here at the MN plains of Mankato! The sun is shining and it is sixty some degrees! OH SO BEAUTIFUL!

I have only 9 days of class left, that is beyond crazy! That means before I know

 it, I will be packing up my room and heading home! 

I really enjoyed my Easter weekend, attending a school with no religious attachments means no days off, but I have no classes on Friday, so was able to be home. I slept a LOT, but also spent time with my mom and grandpa who came to visit. I even had time to bake my first pie!

This week so far has been hectic, but I am enjoying planning MAN (Male Appreciation Night). The women of CRU plan a night to thank the men for their service in our ministry. It's a little over a week away! Tomorrow night I'll be attending my first ever Women's appreciation night, who knows what will be in store for that!

Today in my quiet time, I read 1 Corinthians 1:27-29:

"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. "

I am thankful that he did that, because I know that I am not wise, and I am weak and I am most definitely NOT of noble birth. I have no claim other than a heart the loves Jesus! I thank him for wanting to use me!

I thought I would give an update about support raising to say that the Lord has provided more than enough money for me to go this summer! I'm so grateful and humbled by the support and outpourings that I have received!  Only 40 some days until my feet will touch New Jersey soil!

Hopefully, we'll have flowers soon!!! :)

Bis naechtes mal,

Kimberly