18 October 2010

I love thinking of Jesus like this...

I saw a strange sight. I stumbled upon a story most strange, like nothing my life, my street sense, my sly tongue had ever prepared me for. Hush, child. Hush, now, and I will tell it to you. Even before the dawn one Friday morning I noticed a young man, handsome and strong, walking the alleys of our City.

He was pulling an old cart filled with clothes both bright and new, and he was calling in a clear tenor voice: "Rags!" (Ah, the air was foul and the first light filthy to be crosse by such sweet music.)

"Rags! New rags for old! I take your tired rags! Rags!" "Now, this is a wonder," I thought to myself, for the man stood six-feet-for, and his arms were like tree limbs, hard and muscular, and his eyes flashed intelligence.

Could he find no better job than this, to be a ragman in the inner city? I followed him. My curiousity drove me. And I wasn't disappointed.

Soon the Ragman saw a woman sitting on her back porch. She was sobbing into a handkerchief, sighing, and shedding a thousand tears. Her knees and elbows made a sad X. Her shoulders shook. Her heart was breaking.

The Ragman stopped his cart. Quietly, he walked to the woman, stepping round tin cans, dead toys, and Pampers. "Give me your rag," he said so gently, "and I'll give you another." He slipped the handkerchief from her eyes. She looked ups, and he laid across her palm a linen cloth so clean and new that it shined. She blinked from the gift to the giver.

Then, as he began to pull his cart again, the Ragman did a strange thing: he put her stained handkerchief to his own face; and then HE began to weep, to sob as grievously as she had done, his shoulders shaking. Yet she was left without a tear. "This IS a wonder," I breathed to myself, and I followed the sobbing Ragman like a child who cannot turn away from mystery.

"Rags! Rags! New rags for old!" In a little while, when the sky showed grey behind the rooftops and I could see the shredded curtains hanging out black windows, the Ragman came upon a girl whose head was wrapped in a bandage, whose eyes were empty. Blood soaked her bandage. A single line of blood ran down her cheek. Now the tall Ragman looked upon this child with pity, and he drew a lovely yellow bonnet from his cart.

"Give me your rag," he said, tracing his own line on her cheek, "and I'll give you mine." The child could only gaze at him while he loosened the bandage, removed it, and tied it to his own head. The bonnet he set to hers. And I gasped at what I saw: for with the bandage went the wound! Against his brow it ran a darker, more substantial blood-his own!

"Rags! Rags! I take old rags!" cried the sobbing, bleeding, strong, intelligent Ragman. The sun hurt both the sky, now, and my eyes; the Ragman seemed to more and more to hurry.

"Are you going to work?" he asked a man who leaned against a telephone pole. The man shook his head. The Ragman pressed him: "Do you have a job?"

"Are you crazy?" sneered the other. He pulled away from the pole, revealing the right sleeve of his jacked-flat, the cuff stuffed into the pocket. He had no arm. "So," said the Ragman. "Give me your jacket, and I'll give you mine." Such authority in his voice!

The one-armed man took off his jacket. So did the Ragman - and I trembled at what I saw: for the Ragman's arm stayed in its sleeve, and when the other put it on he had two good arms, thick as tree limbs; but the Ragman had only one. "Go to work," he said.

After that he found a drunk lying unconscious beneath an army blanket, an old man, hunched, wizened, and sick. He took that blanket and wrapped it round himself, but for the drunk he left new clothes.

And now I had to run to keep up with the Ragman. Though he was weeping uncontrollably, and bleeding freely at the forehead, pulling his cart with one arm, stumbling for drunkenness, falling again and again, exhausted, old, and sick, yet he went with terrible speed. On spider's legs he skittered through the alleys of the City, this mile and the next, until he came to its limits, and then he rushed beyond.

I wept to see the change in this man. I hurt to see his sorrow. And yet I needed to see where he was going in such haste, perhaps to know what drove him so.

The little old Ragman - he came to a landfill. He came to the garbage pits. And then I wanted to help him in what he did, but hung back, hiding.

He climbed a hill. With tormented labor he cleared a little space on that hill. Then he sighed. He lay down. He pillowed his head on a handkerchief and a jacket. he covered his bones with an army blanket.

And he died.

Oh, how I cried to witness that death! I slumped in a junked car and wailed and mourned as one who has no hope - because I had come to love the Ragman.

Every other face had faded in the wonder of this man, and I cherished him; but he died. I sobbed myself to sleep. I did not know - how could I know? That I slept through Friday night and Saturday and its night, too. But then, on Sunday morning, I was wakened by a violence. Light - pure, hard, demanding light - slammed against my sour face, and I blinked, and I looked, and I saw the last and the first wonder of all.

There was the Ragman, folding the blanket most carefuly, a scar on his forehead, but alive! And, besides that, healthy! There was no sign of sorrow nor of age, and all the rages that he gathered shined for cleanliness.

Well, then I lowered my head and trembling for all that I had seen, I myself walked up to the Ragman. I told him my name with shame, for I was a sorry figure next to him. Then I took off my clothes in that place, and I said to him with dear yearning in my voice: "Dress me."

He dressed me. My Lord, he put new rags on me, and I am a wonder beside him.

The Ragman, the Ragman,
The CHRIST.

* Ragman by Walter Wangerin, Jr.

21 September 2010

That Matchless Love

Some of my measly thoughts about the Love of God.

Yet, the love of God.
I forget it.
I disbelieve it.
I take it for granted.
I misunderstand it.
I don't get this love that passionately pursues the unworthy.
That chases after my heart and motivations.
This love that demands nothing, but asks me to give up everything.
How I want to get it.
It is like a sunbeam that warms your skin-and goes directly to the heart.
The clouds come and we forget the sun is still shining-we go about our business everyday and start to forget about the sun, not really noticing it-our minds consumed with smaller things, forgetting the kiss of its warmth and how blessed we are.

16 August 2010

Sights of Berlin

Berlin truly is an international city. This summer we really enjoyed learning more about German culture but also about other cultures as we met people from all over the world. The first three pictures are from some of my favorite places in Berlin. Top : Gendarmenmarkt: this part of Berlin is real easy on the eyes and I find it super peaceful. In this square there are two churches and an opera house. It was built for the French Hugenots to come and worship. Middle is the Berliner Dom, it is a protestant church on the east side of Berlin. Fun facts: the East actually repaired the church and on front of the church is 1 John 5:4 " and this is the victory that has overcome the world-our faith." I find that amusing especially considering where the church was. The Brandenburg Gate: Everyone probably could recognize this monument, but I love to think about the fact the Napoleon stole the Quadriga (lady with the horses) off the top, and then it was brought back. Imagine taking a large statue off of a building....CRAZY!


















16 June 2010

Hello from Berlin, Germany

We are alive and safe here in Berlin Germany. Besides all of the jetlag it felt amazing to get back to Germany. It even felt somewhat like home. We got our rooms at the Amstel House and it is really great. All the student women and one of our staff members are staying in the same room, which I think is amazing. What a sweet way to build relationships and community!

Yesterday we hung out and tried not to fall asleep for too long. We enjoyed seeing some sites at night. Today we spent our first day on campus. We are going to be eventually assigned to a campus to do ministry at, but for the rest of the week, we are going to be spending a day at each campus.

Another Kim (who's on staff with CCC) and I went out at the campus of Humboldt. To think, there I was at the campus where Einstein was a professor. We got to talk to one girl who was half Turkish/half German. It was really interesting to hear her spiritual perspective. Our goal for the day was to get a little acclimated with the system here and to initiate conversation. We put money on our MENSA (the college cafeteria) cards and choose what we wanted to eat, a pretty good lunch for around 5€. We spent two and a half hours on campus and came back.

Pray that I would die to any agenda that I have, it can be hard for me to enjoy seeing a lot of the same sites as I have before.

Pray that I would be student of the culture, as much as I have learned, there's always more to learn.

Pray that I would serve the others with my knowledge of the language and culture instead of going around with an attitude that I am better than others, etc.


Still waiting to have her first Eis (German for Gelato),
Kimberly

20 May 2010

Berlin Prayer


I have been reminded recently that prayer is an essential part of the Christian walk. Not that praying makes you holier than anyone else, but how else can we connect so deeply to the heart of God. Not only that, but the God of the universe, the one who holds this very planet in motion, bids us to come boldy before his throne of grace and bring everything to him.

Matthew 21:22 says "And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith." Faith is another key component to our walk, we have to believe that God not only hears our prayers, but that he is on the side of His people and is doing work, He is working for our good and longs to answer our prayers.

I leave in just 25 days for my trip to Berlin, I want it to be true of me that I did my part and left God's part to him, and I believe that one of the best ways I can prepare is prayer. Here are what some of my prayers for the summer are. I would ask you to join me.

Open Hearts: That the students of Berlin would have open hearts to hear the gospel. That we the members of BERLIN '10 would have hearts open and willing to let the Spirit move, that we would follow His prompting be open to His leading.

Conversations: That Jeremiah 20:9 would be true of our lives, that we would have to speak. Pray that students are open to conversations, and that we would follow the Spirit's promptings in our conversations and that we would know nothing, but Christ crucified.

Boldness: That we would have the boldness of the early church. That we would be walking in the Spirit and proclaiming our LORD.

Spiritual Growth: That we would grow in our faith as we do things that we've never done before for the name of Christ. That we would take leaps of faith!

Safety: That we would remain safe during our travel and also as we live in the city, that we would be protected and that we would make smart decisions.

Health: that God our great physician would sustain our health while we are away and that no accidents would occur.

Brokenness: That God would break us for the Lost people of Berlin, but also for our friends and family members back home.

Team Cohesion: We are going to be living together as a team in Amstel Haus in Berlin (if you're interested Bilder means pictures). Pray that we would be one that the words of Ephesians 4:4-6 would be true of our lives. "There is one body and one Spirit--just as you were called to one hope that belongs to your call--one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Maggie: Maggie lived with our family for six months, and though we haven't heard from her in over a year, we know that she goes to school in Berlin. Pray that God would do far more than we can imagine in reuniting us and in her life and mine.

Support: I have raised all of my financial support! Praise God! Pray for the rest of my team, pray for their support to come in and that their families would offer support as well. (You're a big part of support through prayer as well, I really mean that!)

Gospel: Pray that the Gospel would go out, that the message of love and light and hope that can be offensive, pray that God would use us to spread his gospel.

Excitement: That we would be excited to use our summers for God's glory. Excited about what God is going to do in us, through us, around us, and in spite of us!


until next time...
Kimberly Nickel

11 April 2010

Fear Not!

“You know how many ‘Fear Nots’ there are in the Bible?”

“How many?”

“365, one for every…”

“day of the year.”

There is a fear not in the Bible for everyday in the year, and yet, we do it, we fear. This conversation was one I had with an amazing lady at my church this past Sunday. I was telling her how the Lord had used Isaiah 43 in my life this past week. This week was one of those weeks where I needed to fear not the most. My life changed in an instant. I got a call on Tuesday night from my father right after our weekly Campus Crusade meeting.

“Mom was in a car accident.”

My dad had said only three sentences by the time we hung up, but those three sentences sent me into shock. This past week my mom was hit by an off-duty state trooper. One who was texting and driving drunk. The moment after my dad told me of my mother’s mishap I realized that I could be planning a funeral. But I wasn’t. About an hour later, I talked to my mom from the hospital. Only 15 stitches and bruises later she returned back home.

We all hear so often on the news the stories of the fatalities of drunk driving. My mom could have been another statistic. The only thing that I can attribute to my mom still being alive is God. By God’s grace and protective hand my mom wasn’t killed out on Highway 12.

It was a scary ordeal for sure. It was shaking. Yet, all of a sudden my homework seemed unimportant, everything was unimportant, only my mom mattered. My mom and the amazing God that I serve who kept her. I said that God used Isaiah 43 to comfort me this week, and I’m going to write it here for you.

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,

and the flame shall not consume you.

For I am the LORD your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Isaiah 43: 1b-3a


PS I now have a celebrity mom. Pray that mom has the opportunity to share the gospel with him :)

05 April 2010

Woman, why are you weeping?

Easter, so good. Although I find myself lacking motivation to be here at school again. Only four weeks of classes left. Yet, so much to do in all of that.

I think that my favorite part of the Easter story, when after Jesus is risen and how he reveals himself to people. This may sound bad, but sometimes I laugh at the awkwardness that arises. Jesus knows who all these people are, but for some reason, probably because they think he's dead, they never recognize him. I think my favorite one, that shows to me Jesus' tenderness is in John 20:11-18.

Let's set the stage: Mary is outside of the tomb crying, she's weeping. It seems like a semi-normal thing for a woman, or anyone for that matter to be doing outside of a tomb. We accept this as normal. Why is she crying? Jesus, the Messiah, a man who delivered her from demons was put to death most horrifically, and the worst part was that he had broken no law. She looks into the tomb and sees two men (who we know as angels) one at the place where Jesus' head had been, and one where his feet had laid. Anyone who's friend had just died would probably be sobbing. Maybe very few actual tears, but instead those sobs that wrack the body-Mary's sorrow was apparent, we know that for sure.

The angels say to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?" I wonder what her reaction to this question was-more tears, frustration that they didn't understand. She says, "They have taken my Lord and I don't know where they have laid him."

She turns around, maybe to leave, we don't really know, but she sees another man. He says to her, "Woman why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?" I think my reaction to this would have been something like hurt rage. People all around me asking me why I'm crying...can't you see I'm mourning? Can't you see that I came here to visit my friend's tomb. He's not here, dead people don't just disappear.

Thinking that this man is the gardener she says, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away." What happens next is so sweet. This man, Jesus, says nothing, but one word. "Mary". This one word causes rememberance, just like you most definitely recognize a friend's voice on the phone, or your parent calling to you across the way. I love that Jesus didn't show Mary his side and his hands, he didn't come to her and tell her all these facts about her life that no one but he could know. No, he just had to say her name.

She knew in an instant that it was Jesus. I wonder if the weeping stopped that moment when the realization dawned on her, or if even a smile broke across her face as she said "Rabboni", teacher.

I wonder if we too don't recognize Jesus as often as we should. We go through life. We mourn our circumstances, the passing of a loved one, no money in the bank, frustration and confustion towards the future. I wonder how many times Jesus calls our name. What if we listened and turned towards him and said, "teacher" and really allowed Him to be our hope, to bring us through whatever it is. What if we remembered at all times the hope Mary found at seeing her once-dead Savior alive again?

May that hope reign in our hearts!
Kimberly

27 February 2010

Berlin and lessons that I am learning...


Berlin:
With great rejoicing, I am able to announce that I am trusting the Lord to go to Berlin, Germany this summer. I found out yesterday that I am accepted. This is really almost like a dream come true! :) I am so stoked to use my German skills for Christ's kingdom.

Grace:
God seems to be continuously teaching me about GRACE.
What it means, how dependent upon it daily, and how a right view of grace frees me and helps me to love the people around me. I love how Kay Arthur describes grace, "everything Jesus Christ is and has made available to us without any reason within ourselves." I truly believe that when we have a correct view of grace, it amazingly affects or relationship with Jesus. A correct view, that we need his grace every hour. That we did nothing to deserve his grace. That the depths of God's grace is unending. We can never outrun his grace there is nothing too bad.

When we view grace correctly, we are able to view others around us in a correct light as well. We know that we never need to hide what we are because we understand that we are forgiven and have been made clean. Understanding of grace helps us in sharing with other people the good news and hope of Jesus Christ.

I am glad that I can continue to search the depths of God's grace and will get to figure out what it means for the rest of my life.

Love & grace,
Kimberly

08 February 2010

Where I applied to go this summer!

the tv tower
I'm trusting Jesus to take me there, waiting to hear back!

29 January 2010

New Year, New Hair, a little older



I can scarcely believe that the end of January is at our doorsteps. It seems as though I was just on vacation. I have completed three weeks of school, and am for the most part, enjoying my schedule. There are some morning when I do not really look forward to getting up for 8am class, but do enjoy having Fridays off.
After the lack of a haircut for over a year, I decided to get one, and went shorter than I ever had before. I am liking it, but have to plan ahead, no more throwing it all up in a ponytail when I feel lazy!
God is so good, I was able to find so much rest and healing over break. For the first time since summer project, I was able to really take some time off as Bob Wiley would say "A vacation from my problems!" Though, I did not forget them, I was able to find time to spend and talk to Jesus in a great way.
God really provided me with a job for my last week of break, and it was such a blessing to work again with all the other people at my old job, and really be able to rest in the fact that God was providing for me.
All the time off really lead to me feeling ready to once again do ministry on this campus, in fact I was excited to come back and pour time and my love and life into the women who I have contact with in the dorms and hopefully make more contacts. Ready to live as a "sent one".
I am so blessed by the women who are in my life here, and my friends in general! They were all willing to be a little wacky for me on my 21st birthday, which was moustached themed. I decided to be the unique person that God has created me to be. We had such games as "Pin the moustache on the Jonas Brother, wrote verses of poetry about poems, and had a drawing competition.
I have applied to go on summer project to Berlin, and am really excited to hear back. In fact being patient is really hard.

Love,
Kimberly