God Can't Fix What's Not Broken

" A THEATRICAL PRESENTATION, 12th STREET BEACH, 'THE EPIC BATTLE'."

"I speak the truth in Christ, I am not lying, my conscience confirms it in the Holy Spirit, I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, those of my own race, the people of Israel." Romans 9:1-3

This week, I have felt an anguish within my soul as never before, I have never ever felt so broken. This week is a week that I will forever remember and will be remembered in my soul as one where Jesus worked and has forever changed my look on the lost.

Our outreach for the week was this epic battle. a representation of the spiritual battle that takes place in our world everyday. As we prepared to watch the forces of "good" and "evil" converge on the beach, I felt a quickening in my soul. I looked at this battle and saw the reality that this is really happening!

After the battle we engaged in many spiritual conversations, but during the week, we talked to so many people and were challenged to keep track of their name and their spiritual status. After the outreach, we looked the list of people (it was a twenty minute powerpo

int) it broke me. I cried for those who didn't know Jesus and rejoiced for those who did.

This upcoming week is called "God can't fix what's not broken." I feel like I'm a week ahead of the game. It will be interesting to see what God does in my life this week. I seriously spent the majority of my week in tears and working out my salvation with fear and trembling before the LORD, so broken before him, maybe for the very first time in my life, just seeing how extremely broken I am.....as Dickens would say, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

I believe that God is good, and the best is yet to come!

I put together a few pictures of the time here for a slideshow.

Agape/For the Sake of His Glory!

"So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Agape week was really one of the most touching weeks out here as we looked towards saying goodbye to our staff who we love and trusting the Lord to work through us. Monday I got up really early and rode my bike to watch the sunset all by myself, but having to go to work at six thirty, didn't leave me enough time to actually watch the entire thing. That night, Bob talked about the only mark of the Spirit-filled life being fruit. Then, I got to join a friend in celebration of her birthday at Hobby Horse. Let me just say that I think Mankato needs an ice cream parlor hardcore. I know we have Coldstone, but that is nothing like Hobby Horse...plus they have Winnie the Pooh there..so yeah don't mess. I worked through a lot of feelings of inadequacy this week, of not feeling adequate to disciple women, and as I worked through them, it was amazing to have God confirms those feelings and then tell me, But I AM. I AM able to disciple women, I AM able to love them when you don't know how, I know what they need and how to stretch them.

Then, I encountered one of the hardest days I've yet to experience on project. It started at work. There was one lady who pretty much made it her goal to make life miserable for everyone. She was just so rude, and I had to remember that Jesus loved this lady as I encountered her and tried to show her patience and grace. Yet, I never take it well when people yell at me. Then, as I was ending my shift I started to feel very ill. Slightly faint and had a large headache. It was a bummer, because we had planned a sleepover and an evening trip to Cape May for our last action group time with Sarah. I ended up sleeping in my room because I felt so sick. But we all woke up and went to watch the sunrise with our impact group boys.

Thursday was our last day with the staff. It was a good day, our goodbye night started at supper, where we had an agape feast and started to serve each other. Then, Bob gave his final talk imparting upon us some last words of wisdom. Exhorting us to run full speed ahead, in community, then we went back into the gym and people had an opportunity to share what God had been doing in their hearts. About 15 minutes in, Bob and Kim come out with buckets of water and towels and went to our student leaders and washed their feet. Then, it trickled down as my action group leader washed my and the other girls in my study's feet. Then, I wanting to have my lead foot with the women I would be leading be love and service washed the women that I would be leading's feet. Then, we went back into the sanctuary and prayed for our new leaders and the staff gathered in the back, and left.

It is amazing the impact these men and women had upon our life in a short six weeks. How different we all our and the new appreciation we have for them, as we take on their roles. Our schedule has just become more busy. I just finished my first discipleship appointment and it went alright. I have been finding peace and my role and trusting that God is adequate to disciple people even when I'm not. I will spend about eight hours a week in discipleship, 2 hours being discipled myself and 2 hours with each of the three women that I have been entrusted to love. My host family here is amazing. I have been invited to spend as much time as I want over at their house. Yesterday I spent quite a bit of time just chilling and reading and even took a dip in their pool.

Prayer Requests:

-That I would take the time I need to with Jesus as I need to have a right relationship before I can even think about pouring into other women.

-That I would have a changed heart and lead my women in transparency and love.

-I would not be overwhelmed by my busy schedule.

- I would continue to build relationships with people here on project.

-I would move towards my coworkers and be intentional about sharing the gospel with them.

Praises:

-Amazing friends that I get to laugh and cry with.

-The way Jesus is using this in my life.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/oceancitysp/?saved=1

World Vision Week

He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never call retreat; He is sifting out the hearts of men before the judgement seat: Oh, be swift my soul to answer him, be jubilant my feet, my God is marching on!

The preceding is a verse from

the Battle Hymn of the Republic, we sang it in church on Sunday, and as the words were sung, I thought about the truth of the statement, "never sound retreat", God's army will never sound retreat, it will always continue.

Then, I think that the response of, be swift my soul to answer and jubilant my feet, really resonated with me and what I've been thinking about this week. We've been challenged with thinking about God's heart for the world. We've been challenged with what it would look like if we lived life with the vision of "Go, unless called to stay." It was a really challenging week, and one that may affect me for the rest of my life. We got to celebrate the fourth of July by watching fireworks set off over the ocean. After fireworks I found out what my role here is going to be once our staff leave. I am going to be an action group leader. I will be discipling three women and leading a Bible Study, as well as be discipled myself and be in another Bible Study. I know that this is exactly what I need, but I am overwhelmed with the prospect of the time that all of that will take, especially while working about twenty hours a week.

Yesterday was a guy in our Impact group's birthday and we made him pancakes, then we had a creative date, we invited our men to the swing at 5pm for dinner, when they arrived there, we weren't there but there was a note. We sent them on a scavenger hunt and we met them at a park and it was just a really fun time. We took so many pictures and we watched the sun set over on the bay side of the island. I am so glad that I know those people and that they are my friends.

Please be in prayer for me as I do this. I know that I am going to need God's strength so much in this. I am excited but am sad to see the staff leave at the end of the week.

PS "Roses are red, violets are blue, you are awesome and I agape you."

Killing the Giants/All For One

SO MUCH has occured since the last time I had time to write on this thing called a blog.

I feel like I cannot even recap what the Lord has been doing/what has occured. Killing the giants week went well. Over 5800 people were engaged in spiritual conversations and 261 indicated decisions for Christ. I personally got to see six people come to Christ. That was crazy!!! I also reached my goal of sharing with 50 people. We battled rain deluges and all kinds of other odds but we killed that giant. It was personally fun to go sharing with all kinds of different people.

During "Killing the Giants" week, we had very little time to get to know each other. So, the next week was entitled "All For One", we only had two hours of internet between the hours of five and seven, so that is why this has been semi-neglected.

We as women got honored and challenged as we listened to staff women cheer us on and encourage and challenge us at our women's conference. We enjoyed delicious food and great company as we all dressed to the nines and sat down and heard "What I Wished I Would Have Known", "What Has Kept Me in the Race", and "What I Am Learning", complete with a chocolate fountain.

One really cool thing that we did was a group date night with Jesus, where we chose a number between 1 and 23 to correspond with the number of books in the New Testament. Then, we chose between the chapters in that book. From there, we read through the passage and talked it over, came up with questions about it. It was a super sweet time to get together with four other women and talk about the passage and just be real and open and curious together.

After that night, we had mens and women's staff panels where we could ask any relationship type question or really anything we wanted to of them. It was great to hear and gain insight and wisdom from those who had gone before us.

Last Friday, the men from our impact group made us supper after inviting us to dinner through a rewrite of Taylor Swift's Romeo and Juliet. They were awesome. They had the table all set and served us quesadillas and made cake and ice cream, then we played dime skeeball. It was just a really fun night.

The week was great as we spent it well in community with each other. At the end of the week, we played a softball game Students v. Staff. We named our team HAM, which is an obsession of this project in this case ham stood for holy and mighty. We enjoyed a great number of cheers and playing together as one against our staff.

Killing the Giants.....

Hey, sorry for my absence here, it has already been a very busy week. In fact it has been a full weeks since I last posted.

Wed: I started my training for Superfresh. I had to do all this computer training/simulation stuff, and it was intense, and gave me a headache after it was over, but then I got to have Bible Study again with Sarah and we combined with another group.

Thurs: I continued my training at Superfresh, I got off of the computer ½ way through my shift and that was super overwhelming at first, because I had absolutely no idea how I was going to do all that was required of me. However, my trainer was this extremely sweet woman named Jeanette. She gave me a hug the first day that I worked there and just loved on me and encouraged me that I would be good at my job. Then, that night we had another Holy Spirit talk by the one and only Mr. Bob Fuhs. After the worship, I just felt so filled and called to just be silent for awhile, so I went and sat on the church steps for a few moments before people started filing out. I find often the Lord just asking me to be still and just wait.

Fri: I worked a four hour shift at Superfresh and was still overwhelmed with all that I had to do, but it started to seem that I would be more able to handle anything that came through. More of our project family arrived with the quarter students and it started to feel like we were more complete.

Sat: we had impact group suppers as well as a scavenger hunt called “A Taste of Ocean City” Where we had to eat a large sampling from many foods on the boardwalk. Such as frozen bananas, funnel cake, taffy, fries, polish water ice, we even ate sand and saltwater. We also had activities to do, like sing to someone on the boardwalk, play leapfrog from the boardwalk to the beach. We took a picture of a seagull eating a piece of food. Then, we did our normal outreach and went sharing on the boardwalk. At our debrief we learned what the next week, “Killing the Giants” would be all about. We were all asked to pray and set faith goals for the number of people we wanted to have spiritual conversations with, and challenged to think of an evangelism giant in our life and just do it, get over it. Each person on project wrote down the number of people they wanted to trust God by faith to talk to. Our whole project goal was 4596 people. I was up until 1:30 am working on caramel rolls for the next morning.

Sun: I was up at 7:15 to bake the rolls made the night before. We had Sunday school and church, then an outreach in the afternoon, where we even invited people to a tug-of-war competition and then, once the competition was over, we all went out into the crowd and talked to the spectators and participants about Jesus.

Mon: I pulled a six our shift, which was pretty intense, but it was also good I talked a little to one of my co-workers and invited her to our meeting and she came :) I was working and greeted this one woman, “Hello, Ma’am, how are you today?” Her response just floored me, she was like “Are you here with Crusade?” “You guys are always so nice.” What an amazing thing to have such a GREAT reputation, but also somewhat intimidating to live up to. But that was a cool thing for sure.

Prayer Requests:

-That I would be sustained by the Lord this week as we pour out all we are into sharing and asking people about Jesus.

-That the hearts of the people on the boardwalk would be open and ready to hear the good news of the gospel.

-That I would not get weary of sharing my faith, but would continue to trust the Lord in all aspects of it.

-That I would be able to face my fears well and see them as giants that I must get over, not as impossibilities.

-That by faith, I would talk to my faith goal (50 people)

Praises:

-After 2 days our project is ½ way through our faith goal.

-The openness people have to sharing and talking to us.

-The friendships that are building here.

I was reminded last night that God doesn’t see lost people as a project or as anything, but lost and his compassion drives him to send laborers into his harvest. We looked at Matthew 9:35-38

“And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples. “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few, therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”